Reading CINEMA to write better PROSE

The cool thing about writing a novel is that you can go on for as many pages as you want simply … talking. You can explain, worldbuild, investigate a character’s heart, describe a style, a smell, a sight.

But what happens when you put that thing on paper and it’s far too long, a great block of text that intimidates your reader? What happens if what you did is a perfect example of telling vs. showing?

With a sigh, you proceed to erase what you just wrote.

How can you learn to show, instead of telling?

You write something where you can’t physically tell.

When I read Angels in America, my favorite play, I was astounded to see that I knew exactly how the characters felt even if I hadn’t read anything like “He was so sad he wanted to cry”, or “She was going to leave, hopeless and disappointed.”

Same things happened when I read the script for the pilot of Peaky Blinders.

You learn how to show power instead of telling someone “that person’s powerful”. You do it making Tommy Shelby walk into a place and everyone turn to greet him, listen to his advice, even the people who are older and in charge. You make him call the shots. You don’t say it, you make it evident.

So, are you going to throw away the “He felt so sad his heart was shattering inside of his chest”? No. But remember that this exact sentence is a little basic. I don’t think any feeling, and sadness in particular, can ever be pure.

Everything you feel is polluted by other feelings. You found your lover cheating on you? That’s anger, betrayal, feeling stupid, maybe, sadness, and loneliness, at some degree.

It’s the night before your dream trip to random city? You won’t be able to sleep because of the anticipation, a little anxiety for the trip itself, happiness, excitement, restlessness.

All of these things can’t just be conveyed with a couple of “She was so excited she couldn’t sleep”. You’ll have to explore that feeling a little more, trying to find an original way to express a feeling that everyone had experienced in their life.

And if someone never has? Like, for instance, I’ve never been in love. When I read books about love, it’s usually boring to find the “she felt butterflies in her stomach”. I don’t know what that means. That’s just commonplace. Let me see, let me feel, let me hear.

Your job is to make people see with your eyes, feel with your skin, hear with your ears. You’re not playing god, you’re watching a world and reporting.

And yes, you can play god when it comes to outlining. But that’s another blog post!

Now, what’s your biggest problem with description?

Let me know in the comments!

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