How to Write Unrequited Love

First of all, what can we define as unrequited love?

It’s the crush that doesn’t love you back, the person who doesn’t like you the way you like them.

In the real world it can be pretty painful, and in your book it can be useful for character development.

So, how do we write it?

The difference

Why does character A love B, and why doesn’t B love A back?

It’s important to know this because this will help you understand more about your ocs.

My personal tip: don’t write A as lower in status, ugly, or generally less “gifted” than B. Also, don’t write B as an a@#*ole who treats everyone like they’re nothing.

The reasons why people love each other can be many:

• They’re gentle, kind, affectionate, fascinating;

• They’re interesting, intelligent, clever;

• They make the people around them feel uplifted, free, confident, or make them have a lot of fun;

• They’re mysterious;

• They’re really outgoing;

• They’re exactly what character A was looking for in a partner,

And many more.

The reasons why character B might not like character A:

• They’re not into their gender or they’re aromantic;

• They don’t find them nice;

• They don’t feel like they can vibe or there’s no chemistry between the two;

• Character A idealized them too much and now B thinks A is in in love with someone who doesn’t actually exist;

• They don’t like B because they’re behavior sometimes is a little off;

• They aren’t looking for people like B;

• They’re already in love with someone else;

• They prefer being friends with A because they think they’re much better at friendship than romance;

• They have mental health issues that make it hard for them to commit to relationships;

• They want something different from A than what they have to offer;

• They know they wouldn’t be a great team.

Feelings

Unrequited love can feel like:

• A thinks they’re not the right fit for B, and therefore feels like they’ve met at the right moment, but the wrong person

• A thinks they’re not good enough for B (which is wrong of course, there’s no such thing as being ‘not good enough’) and therefore feel a little less confident in themselves

• A thinks B just has to discover more about them, and keeps hoping B will finally see how wonderful they are

• A feels heartbroken because B has a lover or another love interest

• 
  

(All these feelings are valid! This is just for books 😊 )

Consequences

What does unrequited love do to your ocs?

Here we go! For A:

• A might try to declare their love to B anyway, then fail, or maybe succeed!

• A might simply keep knowing B better like a friend. This is one of my favorite things: two characters who discard the romance between them and simply stay friends!

• A feels like they are stronger because they went through unrequited love and found strength in themselves.

• A becomes bitter about love and doesn’t want to fall in love again

• A stops hanging out with B and B’s friends to stop being reminded of their crush

• A purposefully tries to forget about B and undergoes a deep makeover of their personality

(All of these things, again, aren’t either wrong or right, they’re simply things I’ve seen people do when their love is unrequited).